An Interview with my Dog: it’s a ruff life when your human abandons you for a week

This is my dog Catalina. She is a dachshund mix and she’s twelve years old. I had to conduct this interview in-between her naps, she loves to sleep.

M: Hey Catalina are you busy I want to talk to you about something?

C: Here let me check my very busy schedule first. Let me see, ah in a few minutes I have to lay down if you make it quick we can talk. Or I’ll talk now…for a price.

M: Okay, what do you want?

C: Wow that was easier than I thought! I’ll take 5 treats and a belly rub.

M: Okay 1 treat and a belly rub I can provide that.

C: Wait that’s not what I asked for I demand-

M: Anyway we need to talk about something important. You’ll get the treats afterwards.

C: Okay fine let’s get this over with I have to watch my shows, there’s a new episode of Treehouse Masters on, he’s making a dog house…in a tree! I love watching moving pictures on the big box in the-

M: I’m sorry do you mean the TV?

C: Well considering I’m a dog I did not know it was called a T V.

M: Okay don’t be rude I’m the one that feeds you! But okay so in June I’m going to Florida for a week it’s for a-

C: Oh my god! We’re going to Florida I cannot wait for this car ride, you know I love me some car rides.

M: You didn’t let me finish, I’M going to Florida for a summer course I’m taking.

(No animals were harmed in the taking of the this photo)

C: Wait a minute! What do you 

mean I’m not going that’s not barking right!! You know I love Disney World and Goofy.

M: Catalina, you’ve never even been to Disney World and that’s not even where we’re going. We’re going to the Florida Keys to learn about tropical marine biology.

C: Why can’t you do that in the comfort of our own home? Who is going to protect you from the evil man that comes to the door, mocks me and leaves random papers in that box attached to the door?

M: I can assure you that the mailman will not cause any trouble for me while I’m a 1000 miles away.

C: Wait so how long are you going to be away again?

M: Just a week, 7 days.

C: But that’s forever! In dog years that’s like a 100 years! What will I do without you?

M: Well what do you do when I’m usually gone?

C: Wait for you to come back.

M: It’ll go by really fast I promise. Do you want me to bring anything back for you?

C: Bring me a slice of key lime pie, no wait I can’t eat pie I’m a dog. Bring me back a fish, that’s what you’re going to see there right. I love fish sticks!

M: Well yeah we’re going to see all sorts of stuff in Florida, fish, plants and reptiles. I’m really looking forward to it. And I know you love fish sticks, remember that time I left the living room for a minute and came back to half of my fish sticks just disappeared into thin air.

C: Ah yes, the good ol’ days when I was just a puppy…I mean that was most definitely not me.  But can we conclude this interview…I think it’s time for that nap.

M: We’ve only been talking for five minutes but I guess we can stop, I’ll give your treats when you-

C: Zzzzzzzz *snores* *wags tail in sleep* 

Find out more about Florida, even your dog can read this!

Some delicious fish recipes, recommendations by Catalina herself (she swears by the fish sticks)