Standing at 32 inches tall and with a wingspan of 50 inches, these wading birds are supposedly an icon of the Sunshine State. However, after being here for 5 days, I have not seen one. This was one of the things I was most excited to see in my trip to Florida. I am beginning to think that these birds are more of local folk lore than an actual living species of bird.
The Roseate Spoonbill is supposed to be a shade of rosy pink as adults, and snow white as juveniles. It is said that they get their name from the shape of their iconic spatulate bills, but I cannot confirm or deny this because they have yet to reveal themselves.
It has been claimed that they use their bills to sift through mud so they can feed on frogs, small fish, insects, newts, and crustaceans. But is this really true? Unless I see it with my own eyes, I refuse to believe it.
The mangrove forests are prime nesting habitat for the Roseate Spoonbill-- or so Wikipedia says. It's been theorized that they lay between 3 and 5 eggs or whatever.
However, I believe that the Roseate Spoonbill is just a giant hoax. How do we know they are ACTUALLY there if I cannot find one? These wannabe flamingos are probably just spray painted White Ibis. All those pictures online have to be just photoshopped. Maybe some clown thought it would just be funny to create a nonsense bird to fool all the other birdwatchers in the world. Or maybe this is a deep State secret too. Maybe the Florida government created the myth of the Roseate Spoonbill just to generate tourist revenue.
If these pea-brained birds would just show themselves, I would believe in their existence. Until then, they will just be a mystery. The Roseate Spoonbill is a complete fabrication created by a mysterious individual with a hidden agenda to promote a non-existent species.
More about the fake Roseate Spoonbill
The best spots to see "Roseate Spoonbills"
I love your comedy. I didn't know they were wannabe looking flamingos this whole time?!?! They look BEAUTIFUL. Thanks to your blog post, I am also convinced that they don't exist. We better find one tomorrow, or else were lobbying the government offices to demand the truth about Spoonbill.
ReplyDeleteThey are just a hoax created by the government to distract us from the fact that short flamingos exist. This is funny, I really enjoy reading your blogs. They do have very beautiful coloring and they are very cute.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. At all levels. Love the post. AND I wish you weren't on your phone during the drive back from Key Largo when I saw the two on the fence next to the road.... :) Dr. Z
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