THAT'S MY CHARACTER, I'M THE TRASH MAN! I COME OUT, I THROW TRASH ALL OVER THE- ALL OVER THE RING! AND THEN I START EATING GARBAGE! AND THEN I PICK UP THE TRASH CAN AND I SMASH THE GUY ON THE HEAD!

Bahia Honda State Park. The old bridge can be seen in the distance.

Today, I became one with the trash. It all started with a visit to Bahia Honda State Park in the Florida Keys - a section of the original railroad that connected the Florida Keys in the late 1800's can still be seen from the island. Perhaps more significant than the railroad is the ecological role that the island plays - it serves as an important nesting site for seabirds such as the least tern. Unfortunately, a large amount of the island's foliage was blown away during Hurricane Irma - despite this, it still retains its ecological importance as it recovers.

Another unfortunate effect of Hurricane Irma was that the storm blew tons of trash onto the island - and I mean A LOT of trash. A large portion of this trash wound up at the wrack-filled beaches of the island - wrack is a collection of seaweed that washes up on the beach. In the case of Bahia Honda, the beach was just piled high with the stuff. As you could imagine, all of that seaweed baking out in the sun doesn't smell very good. So why can't we just get rid of it? Well, wrack plays a very important ecological role - it's home a huge number of small invertebrates, such as amphipods, whose activity recycles the nutrients of the washed-up seaweed. Seabirds also spend a lot of time in the wrack, feeding on all of the invertebrates. Without the wrack, the environment doesn't get all those recycled nutrients, and the seabirds don't get food. Clearly, it's important that we keep this community healthy - doing so, however, is another story. Today, we ventured into the wrack to clear the trash that had washed ashore along with the seaweed.

The Stockton Ospreys after their trash adventure.

As I ventured into the wrack, knee-deep in decaying seaweed, the smell of death washed over me. The hot sun overhead, the swarms of amphipods coming from the wrack, the sludge clinging to my legs, making it hard to walk, and the ungodly smell - all of it made me yearn for my own mortality, for suffering of this magnitude is a fate worse than death. And yet, as I began accumulating trash, I started to remember why I was doing this - trash kills marine life. Animals get choked by six-pack rings, smothered by plastic bags, and ingest small plastic chunks which they think are food, preventing them from being able to digest. Every piece of trash that I picked up could have potentially been a life saved - and suddenly, I was in my element. I was going from piece of trash to piece of trash, collecting them like a harlot collects venereal diseases. Suddenly, the disgusting wrack didn't matter - in that moment, I was the Trash Man. Finally, the least tern would be able to return to this beach too.

Unfortunately, my team still lost the competition.

Learn more about Bahia Honda State Park here:
http://bahiahondapark.com/
https://www.floridastateparks.org/park/Bahia-Honda

Learn more about wrack here:
http://explorebeaches.msi.ucsb.edu/sandy-beach-life/wrack-community

Learn more about Trash here:
http://www.debrisfreeoceans.org/marine-debris/
https://www.cleanwater.org/problem-marine-plastic-pollution